accomplished twins. life is a go
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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