I'm gonna have a badass scar
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
