so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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