why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Two words: nipple clamps
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