Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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