get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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