So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
