I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
