I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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