I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
