I just gift wrapped bread.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
