My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
