do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
i think my cat just said my name.
Randomize
