god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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