hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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