if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
