Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He has the fingertips of a God
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