he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
