Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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