Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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