How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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