My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
