coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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