why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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