I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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