we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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