And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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