Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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