first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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