Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
