Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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