So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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