i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Houston, we have a squirter
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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