Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
