ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
