i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
