I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
