I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
