i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I could fuck to npr.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
