I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
