...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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