dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize