D3 body, D1 cock
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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