I think my vagina is haunted
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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