I showed him my bush... on skype.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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