White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize