wat bout pragnant strippers??
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
