Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
