you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize