I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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