awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
