he thought i was a dude.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
