the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
