I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I think I sprained my soul last night
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
