My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
