Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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