I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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