i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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