Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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