Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
