The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
This is the high leading the old right now
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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