It's Friday. Sex?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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