so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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